Pittsburgh Blog for Equality DayMarch 31, 2008
So I was out doing some tag surfing and discovered that today is Pittsburgh Blog for Equality Day, thanks to Irene over at Eleventh Stack. I commented on her blog, and realized then that I needed to write something here today about marriage equality. After all, my partner and I are in the thick of planning our own wedding. (note: we still don’t have a photographer; know anyone available on August 9th?) I did a little more research and found that this event is being sponsored by The Pittsburgh Women’s Blogging Society, and though I’m not a woman, I do live near Pittsburgh and I certainly have an interest in obtaining marriage equality. My partner and I deserve the same rights as heterosexual couples when it comes to getting married.
It is interesting that this topic comes up today. A few things have happened that seem to feed into this particular topic. First off, there is my procrastination on calling my state Senator, Richard Kasunic. I had intended to do that on Friday morning, but somehow neglected to do so. It’s been almost 2 months since I contacted that office trying to get an appointment. The secretary was to call back when the senator was taking appointments, and of course, that never happened. I need to get on this again, and soon.
I’ve spent the past few days working on our wedding plans, calling the dj, thinking of the guest list, contacting someone who might have been able to photograph our event. So the wedding is very much on my mind. With that, comes the thought that this is a ceremony for us, and our friends to share in our joy, but we will gain nothing as far as legal benefits are concerned. Not only are same-sex marriages illegal, or not civilly recognized, but there is currently a bill in the state senate to amend the constitution to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.
I stayed at work a bit later than usual today, and as I headed back to my classroom after having a long conversation with a colleague, I could hear my cellphone vibrating. It was Scott, my soon-to-be-husband. He was quite excited, words rushing out of him, and ideas all over the place. I kept asking him questions and finally figured out what had happened. It seems we’re the talk of our little town. I’ll go with exaggeration on this point, but it does seem that word is out that we are planning our wedding. An aunt took it upon herself to visit Scott’s mom and quiz her about our upcoming nuptials. Mom didn’t offer much information because she doesn’t have all that much to offer. She knows we’re planning a wedding. She might know that it is in August. The rest of the conversation was spent talking about mom’s disapproval of the wedding and how the “kids” are taking it. We both have children from when we tried to “choose” heterosexuality and married women.
I doubt this meddling aunt would have grilled Scott’s mom if this were another straight marriage. Families can be strange systems, and sometimes relatives swoop in to cast their opinions on matters that don’t concern them. I suppose dear auntie would express her dismay if Scott were marrying the crack whore who lives down the street. I’m even willing to guess that when pressured, this woman would have glowing things to say about me; she knows me, and always speaks to me when I meet her out in public. There’s no reason to be concerned about Scott marrying a character like me. So that leaves the gay issue, and the mistaken belief that heterosexuals can declare who is worthy of a marriage license based on the gender of the 2 people involved.
Please, if you believe in equality, if you believe that marriage is good for individuals, couples, families, and children, contact your state senator and ask them to oppose SB1250, the Marriage Protection Act. Marriage doesn’t need protected from loving committed same-sex couples; it needs protected from heterosexual couples who meet no other requirements for marriage except that one of them has a penis and the other has a vagina. Find out more at Equality Advocates Pennsylvania.