It’s happened again! We’ve been the victims of a drive-by gifting. I reported last month that Scott and I had been the target of what appears to be a gay-bashing, except there was no violence, no vandalism. The would-be bashers simply threw gay porn magazines at one of our vehicles. This time, our Furtive Fairy (is that the gay counterpart to a secret Santa?) left us a toy. An adult toy. Silicone anal beads.
Scott had left for work already, and I went out to warm up my car before work. I saw something lying on the road where his van was parked and thought that maybe something had fallen off his vehicle. I walked over to inspect it, and was surprised to discover that we had been “gifted” once again.
I’m not sure what to make of these events. In some ways, it feels like we’re being gay-bashed, targeted because of our orientation. In another way, though, I can’t say that we’re being “bashed” because the actions of this person aren’t intimidating. They’re doing no damage to our property, nor to us. We’re just left standing there scratching our heads.
Here’s what a few of my friends and colleagues have offered in the way of understanding this puzzling person or persons: Perhaps this is a deeply closeted gay man who resents the fact that Scott and I are living our lives in the open for all to see. We don’t flaunt ourselves, but it’s clear that 2 men are sharing a house and they are a couple. So this bitter man has all the gay porn magazines, and evidently some toys that he can taunt us with. I can imagine that he buys these things and satisfies himself, then in a rush of guilt, purges his life of these things vowing never to do it again. His own self-hatred is turned toward us, and we are the recipients of his gay exorcism. Internalized Homophobia that occasionally is aimed at those who live the life he feels he can not live.
On the other hand, maybe those beads just fell out of someone’s tailpipe.