Posts Tagged ‘gay marriage’

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Finally, the Honeymoon!

November 26, 2008

Way too long ago, I promised that I would report on the events that took place after the Big Gay Wedding.  After much procrastination, here it is!

Monday morning, following our Saturday evening nuptials, Scott and I headed out to the airport, boarded our plane for Boston.  We took a water taxi to the dock where we would find our ferry.  In spite of some rain in Boston and gloomy skies while we were on the boat, we eventually arrived safely in Provincetown MA. 

on the bay

on the bay

 

Skies cleared as we pulled into PTown.  We found our bed & Breakfast, the Black Pearl, and checked in with no problems.  Soon we found ourselves walking Commercial Street, enjoying the sights and sounds of what is quickly becoming a home away from home for us.  Of course, we grabbed some seafood for dinner, and we planned our evenings, deciding which shows we might want to see. 

Most days, we spent our time at the beach.  We would pack our bags, grab the bus to Herring Cove, and make the trek through the moors to get to our destination.  This particular part of the beach is unofficially “clothing optional”  so we managed to tan some parts of our bodies that don’t see much sunlight! 

Scott took this from atop the dunes

Scott took this from atop the dunes

 

One day, we were concerned about the weather forecast.  The local stations were predicting rain.  For most of the morning, it looked like it the skies might open up and drench us.  We hesitated to make the trip to the beach, but hated to miss a day of fun in the sun.  We opted to rent bikes and ride through the Cape Cod National Seashore, a National Park.  This was one of the best things we did while on our honeymoon.  The dunes are incredible, the bike trail is enjoyable, and at times, a bit challenging. 

The Dunes

The Dunes

 

Scott entering the tunnel

Scott entering the tunnel

Steve coming out (again???) of the tunnel

Steve coming out (again???) of the tunnel

 

However, the very first thing we did when we arrived in Provincetown, was to visit the Town Hall, where we registered for our marriage license. 

PTown Town Hall

PTown Town Hall

 

Massachusetts requires a 3 day waiting period for marriage licenses.  We wanted to be sure to get ours, and allow an extra day for any glitches that might arise.  Monday afternoon we applied with no problems, and returned on Thursday morning to retrieve our official, legal, marriage license. 

We like to think of our legal wedding ceremony as the yin to the yang of our sacred celebration.  It was everything that the sacred ritual was not.  Our ceremony was performed by the Justice of the Peace, outside on the lawn of the Bed & Breakfast.  Our witnesses were the innkeepers, and the guests of the inn, a group of women on vacation together.  We asked the JP to use our vows from our wedding back home, and she added some additional, beautiful words about equality, and her personal joy of presiding at the weddings of gay and lesbian couples.  Champagne was poured, the license signed by the JP, and now, Scott and I are joined in both sacred and legal matrimony.

Steve and Scott with the JP

Steve and Scott with the JP

Repeating the Vows

Repeating the Vows

A Kiss Seals the Deal

A Kiss Seals the Deal

 

We are legally, sacredly, and happily married!  Each ceremony holds a special joy for us, the formality of one, the casual atmosphere of the other; the friends and family witnessing our love at home, and total strangers sharing the joy of our love at the b&b.  The elaborate meal and dancing to celebrate the sacred ritual, the sharing of wine with temporary friends who toasted our life together, followed by an intimate meal at a nearby restaurant, all of these weave themselves together to create a seamless memory of the week in which we got married, twice.  God grant you the same joy that we have found.

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Part 3: The Toast

September 16, 2008

WE are proud of our daughter/stepdaughter.  We asked Stormie to perform the duties of toastmaster at our wedding because she knows us better than anyone else does, and she is the eldest child.  Age does bring privilege as well as responsibility; our request of her demonstrates both. 

Noted:  Stormie took her own sweet time setting up for the toast.  She walked across the dance floor to get the music stand to hold her notes.  She fumbled with her glasses.  She looked around the room and took a deep breath.  This is what we heard:

 

Are you ready?
 
First of all, I want to say what a huge honor this is. Daddy sent me a text Wednesday morning to check my e-mail for a “special request.” I was working at the library, thinking it was a link to a gift or something like that. When I checked, it was actually a link to “How to Write a Great Wedding Toast.” I cried immediately, partially overwhelmed and partially thrilled. So… I hope I was the best choice.
 
SCOTT, right before I first met you, I was so excited. I think Daddy could tell, and he said, “He’s not used to teenage girls, and he may be shy.” You were, but I was ready to get to know you. I knew I liked you as soon as you thought I was funny. It didn’t take long for us to bond over our orneriness and ability to irritate Daddy. Now, we take turns teasing each other, telling dirty jokes, and talking about how much trouble you’ll be in once I’m not around. Scott, I’m happy to say welcome to the family. It’s been easy to let you in our life, and it only gets better with the Clarks. I love you, and I hope my hugs will always make you feel better.
 
DADDY, when anyone asks about you and me, I use my favorite response: “I am my Father’s daughter.” So, to see you happy makes me happy. We had a conversation last Spring about leaving your comfort zone and giving out what you want in return. You’re proof that it works. I’d like to think you know exactly how I feel about you two, but just in case you don’t, there’s never been a question in my mind that you’re made for each other. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. You’ve made my life more interesting by being a part of yours. I love you.
 
Daddy 1 and Daddy 2, congratulations, and I wish you nothing but the best. I love you both.
 
Life is a journey, not a destination. Here’s to making the journey together.
 
SLAINTÉ

Stormie giving the toast

Stormie giving the toast

 

As mentioned elsewhere in this blog, there were very few that could listen to that, knowing even part of our story, and not shed a tear.  I heard reports of full-blown crying.  I know I had tears just gushing from my eyes. 

Everything she said is true.  Stormie was nervous about meeting Scott, they hit it off well, and now, they are partners in teasing me, almost relentlessly.  Stormie and I both have had our share of problems, none that we’d be in a hurry to repeat.  We’ve both done our homework and find ourselves in a healthy place, each of us cheering the other on.  She is her father’s daughter, and sometimes it hurts to see ourselves in the other, though most of the time, it’s great to see a loving reflection.  Stormie gets that Scott and I are not only good for each other, but that there’s a deep connection that might not show on the surface.  Anam Cara: I am his, and he is mine. 

There’s no question that our children’s lives became more interesting when we came out to them.  Surprisingly, they’ve suffered very few incidents of bullying or taunting because of us.  I’m sure this is an indication that the younger generation is less concerned about who’s gay and who’s straight.  They have met people, gone places, and seen things that they might never have encountered had Scott and I remained closeted.  Their lives are richer because of it.  I can hear it in their conversations, and I can see it in the smiles on their faces.  Our confidence in ourselves overflows to the kids.  Daddy 1 and Daddy 2 (thank you, Sawyer, for the new names) are on a journey together that includes getting our children moving on their own journeys.  It’s exciting to see where we all might go next.

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In the Meantime….

August 24, 2008

OK, I’ve been home a week and haven’t gotten a word written about the honeymoon or even the wedding.  I think that the biggest reason is that I have so much to say about it, I need to break it down into small pieces, organize, then write about it. 

So, in the meantime, here’s a picture:

 

and here’s a link to my pastor’s musings on the wedding:  No Difference. Really.

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Wedding Day

August 9, 2008

 

This post has been written in advance so that I may simply log in here, post it for the public to see, and go about the business of getting married.  When I created this little slideshow, I noticed that both Scott and I are so very happy in all these pictures.  The first time I showed the finished product, complete with song selection, to Scott, he mentioned how happy we are.  Of course, by that point, I was in tears.  We are indeed very happy.  I am pleased to share our little video with you, so that you too can see just how happy we are. 

And so our day is here.  It’s been a long, sometimes frustrating week.  Overall, I have the sense that this is the right thing to do, and for the right reason:  LOVE.  I fought back the tears as we said our vows in rehearsal this evening.  In the end, it’s not about politics, not about a big gay wedding, not about flaunting tradition, nor is it about some secret gay agenda.  It’s about two people in love, making a commitment to honor each other, care for each other, and live out their love for a lifetime.  

We’ll be on our honeymoon for the next week.  I don’t expect to post anything here until August 18th at the earliest.

 

God Bless You All, for God has certainly blessed us.

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Wedding Wine

August 2, 2008

This is my last weekend as a bachelor.  Next week at this time I’ll be married to the man I love, my anam cara, my soulmate.  The big drive is on to accomplish all the plans for the Big Gay Wedding.  I also note that I’ve not written nearly as much these past few weeks.  There will be at least one more post before the celebration, I know this because I’ve got it filed away, waiting to be posted.

Here’s some of what has been achieved this past week:

  • more cookies have been baked.
  • food for the rehearsal dinner has been purchased.
  • the guest room has been painted and reassembled so that it now reflects a mature point of view.  No more bunnies.
  • flowers for boutonnieres and corsages have been purchased.
  • we’ve bought clothes for the rehearsal, and for the kids to wear to the wedding.
  • I’ve transcribed a piece of music for my daughter to play on French Horn for our ceremony.
  • a singer has backed out on us, but the other, Daniel, has learned one of her songs, and my daughter has learned the other. 
  • Centerpieces have been prepared, but not completed.

Today.  Ahhh, today I was feeling peaceful, relaxed.  Then the stress got to my future husband and that got transferred to me.  We’ve been walking around with chips on our shoulders since about 4pm.  At the moment, a truce has been called.  In light of the peace treaty, a few more things were accomplished.   Scott works for a factory that creates envelopes and greeting cards, and has access to overstock inventory.  We had a choice of place-cards, so this evening, I got to work on that excess card stock.  It is a lovely white card embossed with a wave and starfish.  They were just a bit too big, so I cut them down, and scored them so they fold easily. 

I also created our guest book.  It’s really a high end photo album from Hallmark.  It has interchangeable pages so that it can be customized and expanded.  We’re using it not only for our guest book, but also as a wedding album.  I created a few photos to go into the pockets of the lined pages.  I lifted a few of the pictures from photobucket, but added the text.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Each page will feature one of these photos with room for a number of guests to sign beneath the picture.  Later, we’ll add the photographs from the wedding. 

Finally, the whine, I mean, wine.  We’ve made a beautiful white zinfandel with exotic fruit flavoring from a kit.  We’ll be using this wine as our favors for our guests.  It really is a lovely color, and has been somewhat hassle-free from start to finish, but it took a lot of patience.  [Here comes the whine] We bought 2 kits and started both at the same time.  For some reason, one was cloudier than the other at the earliest bottling date.  I stirred it vigorously again and let it sit another week or so.  Everything is fine.  We ordered 100 5oz bottles and some fancy shrink wrap capsules.  Months ago, I made the labels with our clipart and wedding date on them.  Not one step of the process has been overwhelming, but there have been a lot of steps!  Today, I wiped the bottles clean and applied the labels.  The wedding wine is done. 

 

Now, I am reminded of this:  the first miracle that Jesus performed was at the Wedding in Cana.  We offer this gift of wine in celebration of our wedding, honoring a tradition that Christ himself endorsed as he began his public ministry. 

Slainte!

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My Gay Wedding

July 8, 2008

 

We are at the one month point on the countdown to the big gay wedding.  There’s so much to do, and emotions are running high.  Fortunately, that hasn’t resulted in any arguing, but let’s just say physical encounters of the intimate kind are, well, super-charged. 

Invitations were mailed out about three weeks ago and the rsvp’s are coming in.  I’m keeping track of them at an online wedding planning site.  It’s been fun seeing who is prompt and who isn’t, who is coming, who has declined and what their preference is for the meal. 

One of my singer’s may be backing out through no fault of her own.  Her husband accepted a job in Texas and is moving the family there about 3 weeks before our wedding date.  It’s hard to let her go, but it’s not easy trying to guilt her into staying her until after the wedding.  I hope she can fly back for the ceremony, but I don’t have the cash to finance that trip!

The wine bottles arrived today.  I ordered 108 5-ounce bottles for the favors.  We’ll sanitize them and fill them with the homemade wine that we’ve made just for the wedding.  With any luck there will be some left over and we can share a bottle on the honeymoon. 

I’ve been playing with the  Windows Movie Maker software and put several of our pictures into a sappy and romantic video.  I showed it to Scott this evening and we made a decision about the song we wanted to accompany the pictures.  We chose Barbra Streisand’s I Have Dreamed/We Kiss in a Shadow/Something Wonderful from her 1985 Broadway Album.  Once I put the music with the video and reviewed with Scott, he stated what I noticed while I was working on it:  We look so happy in all those pictures.  It didn’t take me long before the tears were flowing.  Yes, we are happy in those photos, and we’re happy now as we begin our life as a married couple. 

 

Yes, we’ve heard that gay is a misnomer and that gay couples aren’t happy.  That’s just not true.  30 days until we say “I do.”  Who could be happier?

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1,000 Hits

June 26, 2008

 

That’s right!  This blog has reached 1,000 hits this month!   That’s a new record.

What have I learned?  I’ve learned that the titles of the posts need to be sensational headlines akin to the National Enquirer. 

I’d like to thank my daughter for being the drum major at IUP.  When all those high school drum majors do a search about audition routines, they end up here. 

I’d like to thank a certain Baptist Church whose members are sneaking over to look at my blog after their pastor mentioned me in his sermon last week.  Yes, I am marrying another man; we’re registered at Lowe’s.  Gift cards are acceptible. 

I’d also like to thank Gretchen and Celeste.  God knows there are plenty of people doing searches for “lesbian couples” and they always manage to find my entry about their wedding. 

Thank you, to my readers.  Some of you keep coming back for more, and I appreciate that.